Meet Debbie Abelson: Navigating Jewish Day School Admissions in a Changing Landscape
Meet Debbie Abelson: Navigating Jewish Day School Admissions in a Changing Landscape
When families explore deToledo High School, they often find themselves in conversation with Debbie Abelson, Director of Enrollment Management—a role that blends storytelling, advocacy, and deep listening. With over a decade at deToledo and a career spent in Jewish communal engagement, Debbie isn’t just helping families through an admissions process; she’s guiding them through a pivotal moment in their Jewish journey.
But today, that journey looks different than it did just a few years ago. The language of Jewish day school marketing has shifted. Once, the emphasis was on community. Now, the focus is on identity. And for Debbie, that shift isn’t just about messaging—it’s about meeting families where they are and helping them see what truly matters for their child’s future.
A career rooted in Jewish engagement
Before joining deToledo, Debbie’s work spanned Hillel International, Hebrew Union College, and Jewish communal service—always centered on helping individuals discover their place in Jewish life. From student recruitment to guiding future rabbis toward their calling, or now helping families find the right high school, one thing remains the same: she listens, understands, and helps people take the next step.
“I love getting to know people’s stories and seeing how I can help them reach their goals,” Debbie says. “Whether it’s a student looking for the right high school or a family navigating tuition assistance, my job is to meet them where they are and help them move forward.”
A changing admissions landscape: from community to identity
For years, Jewish day schools—including deToledo—marketed themselves as places of community. The message was clear: “Join our community. Be part of something bigger.”
But something shifted.
“People don’t want to ‘buy’ community anymore,” Debbie explains. “For years, our messaging was all about connection, about investing in your child’s Jewish community. But families today aren’t responding to that in the same way.”
Instead, families—especially those looking at high school—are asking a different question: How will my child develop a strong Jewish identity?
“People aren’t seeking community in the same way they used to. If they were, synagogues wouldn’t be merging or closing,” she notes. “But identity? That resonates. Families want to know that their kids will graduate from high school with a clear sense of self, with confidence in who they are as Jews, and with the ability to stand on their own two feet—especially with everything happening in the world right now.”
This realization reframed deToledo’s approach. The curriculum didn’t change. The school’s values didn’t shift. But the way they speak to families did.
“When we looked at our marketing materials, we asked, ‘What’s missing? What’s not landing?’ And the answer was clear: We needed to lean into identity. No one will argue against the importance of Jewish identity—especially now, with rising antisemitism and the challenges teens face in college and beyond.”
The takeaway? Jewish day schools aren’t just about belonging—they’re about becoming.
Balancing two of a family’s most precious concerns: their children and their finances
Debbie’s role isn’t just about admissions—it’s also about making Jewish education financially possible for as many families as she can.
“I talk to people about their two most precious things: their children and their money,” she says. “It’s a delicate conversation, but if families know I’m their advocate, that I’m here to help, it’s not a hard one.”
To demystify tuition assistance, deToledo recently launched an online tuition calculator, giving families a sense of what financial aid might look like before even making a phone call.
“We don’t know who’s on our website at midnight, wondering if Jewish day school is even an option for them. But if they see that financial aid is possible, it opens the door for a conversation.”
And for families who do reach out, Debbie ensures they feel supported—especially during life’s unpredictable turns.
“Families reapply for aid every year. We’ve had parents lose jobs, go through crises, even face major life changes like the writer’s strike or the COVID shutdowns. We’ve had Israeli students arrive as refugees from the war. My role is to make sure that when families truly want to be here, we do everything we can to make it happen.”
Jewish Day Schools as a launchpad for identity and resilience
As teenagers navigate the tension between wanting to fit in and wanting to stand out, Jewish day schools play a critical role in identity formation.
“Puberty and adolescence are identity-building years,” Debbie explains. “In elementary school, kids just want to be part of the class. But by high school, they’re figuring out who they are. They crave independence while still wanting to be recognized as individuals.”
At deToledo, that means helping students grow into strong, confident Jews who can navigate the complexities of the world.
“Parents want to know: When my child goes to college, will they have the knowledge and confidence to speak about Israel? About Jewish history? Will they know who they are? That’s where Jewish day schools make an impact that lasts a lifetime.”
A trusted partner: working with BJE’s JKidLA
In her mission to connect families with Jewish education, BJE’s JKidLA and Rachel Kaplan’s concierge service are invaluable partners.
“JKidLA already curates an audience of families interested in Jewish education. They reach people who have raised their hands and are looking for options.”
Debbie values Rachel’s partnership, BJE’s JKidLA’s proactive outreach, and the ability to connect families with the right school.
“Rachel sees me as a partner. Whether it’s inviting me to virtual presentations or pointing families in my direction, it’s clear she’s invested in helping families make the right choice.”
A call to the greater Jewish community
For Debbie, the work of Jewish education is about more than admissions. It’s about the future of Jewish life.
She sees a gap—and an opportunity. “There are so many Jewish families paying tuition at independent schools—sometimes even higher than ours. If they just turned their attention to Jewish day schools, we’d have waitlists at every single one,” Debbie notes.
One misconception she often addresses is that Jewish day schools lack diversity.
“Families say they want diversity, but diversity isn’t just about race. It’s about socioeconomic backgrounds, learning styles, perspectives. Our classrooms are filled with students from different walks of life. The question isn’t whether diversity exists—it’s about the connections students build within the school community.”
For families weighing their options, Debbie has one simple message:
“Jewish education isn’t insular. It’s expansive. It strengthens identity, confidence, critical thinking—and that’s exactly what today’s students need.”
What keeps Debbie going? Gratitude and purpose.
For Debbie, the most rewarding part of her work isn’t just seeing students walk through deToledo’s doors—it’s hearing the gratitude of families who might not have thought Jewish high school was possible for them.
“When we’re able to make it work for a family—especially one that wasn’t sure they could afford it—there’s nothing more fulfilling,” she says.
And for the families who go through admissions or tuition assistance with her, they aren’t just a number or a file. They’re a relationship.
“One mind at a time, one family at a time—that’s how we do this work.”
